I can’t tell you how many people have come to me for help with fertility/infertility issues over the last quarter century – but it is hundreds, and each year sees an increase in numbers. But it isn’t a numbers game for the couples involved – it as an intensely personal and private agony, the hoping for and trying for a baby and things not going according to plan. Especially when it feels like every second person you come across is pregnant or has a new baby and especially when it’s the spring – and all around us nature is speaking of procreation – new birth, new beginnings, new hope. Sometimes I see both members of the couple involved, but let’s be honest – it’s mostly the women who seek out fertility acupuncture, because once the man has had a sperm analysis done, the focus is all on the woman (although it would be marvellous if more men had treatment too).
One of the most important ways in which I can offer help and support to any woman who comes to me – often after months or years of unsuccessful attempts to get pregnant, and sometimes after plenty of western medical intervention – is to give them time to talk through how the whole issue of even needing to come for acupuncture infertility help feels to them. It’s about so much more than the ‘plumbing’ – it’s about hopes, fears, doubts, despair, dreams, envy, anger, shame and grief – big emotions, big strong feelings, co-existing with the need to put on a brave unruffled face at work, with family members sometimes, to the world at large. Sometimes the hours we spend together in my clinic room represent the first time it’s been possible to voice, admit to, some of the more difficult thoughts and feelings which underly the more dispassionate but distressing enough practical, medical challenges.
And every woman is unique in her path to my door. I don’t have some magic ‘fertility acupuncture points’ that I can use with guaranteed results. I’m always telling my patients that human beings aren’t machines, that we can’t just flick a switch and, hey presto, all difficulties are resolved. If you come to see me, my job is to find out as much as possible about all aspects of your health both currently and in the past, how your menstrual cycle is and has been since puberty, what your specific needs are from an acupuncture perspective. My job is also to give you time and space to explore the whole issue of what having a baby means to you – and what it would mean to you if that never happens. Because there are no guarantees, and that is the simple truth. Sometimes I’m the only person who will ask a woman what they will do if they never have children, just like I’m sometimes the only person who will let someone talk about how they feel about death. Just because a subject is difficult is not a good enough reason to avoid it.
And that’s the other reason why coming to see me is about so much more than some technical process of providing ‘acupuncture for fertility’. Take a look at my testimonials, and the way I describe my work – it’s the human being who is seeking the treatment who matters most to me – so the best I can do is to combine my acupuncture expertise with my absolute commitment to take you seriously, treat you with kindness and acceptance, and support you in challenging times. When I get texts from former patients, who have spent hours with me in tears of frustration and despair, announcing the safe arrival of a baby – when they email me photos – when I bump into them in the supermarket, buggy and baby in toe – well, we’ll never know if it was the acupuncture which made the difference … but to a woman, they tell me that at the very least it helped to be given time and a listening ear. And they tell their friends to call me. And that’s enough for me.
So, if you recognise yourself in any of this, and you want to move on from feeling like you do – call me now, on 07970 295177.